Marguerite Castañeda
I met my GIIIRL Marguerite in 2017. By Way of Us had just launched in LA and she was working for MISSBISH and we met at my fav office, The Line Hotel in Koreatown, and we became fast friends.
Since then, she’s worked for companies like Snapchat, Lyft, Door Dash, produced a couple of my favorite newsletters (never forget @onhercourt and @adentro) and lends her brain to BWOU for help in the content dept.
Every year she hosts a toy drive, organizing mostly by herself, gathering donations for families in need, and she’s graciously letting us help her out this year/teaching us how to practice this angel energy she radiates.
I was curious as to why she started five years ago, and how local community care serves not only the people receiving, but the people giving as well.
Photography by Brandon Young
Toy Drive101 with Marguerite
Date: Sunday, December 7
Admission: Free with RSVP
Where are you from and where do you live now?
I was born in Whittier, grew up between Pasadena and El Monte, and spent formative years in La Mirada. Now, I’m just down the street from where I used to come shopping all the time as a teen, in Melrose/Fairfax. I’ve never lived anywhere else but here. 
Did you love growing up in LA? Could you see yourself anywhere else?
I love LA, loudly. I feel really lucky to be able to tell people I’m from here. Growing up, as soon as I could drive, I explored as much as I could. I still am discovering—buildings I’ve never seen before, walks that change my whole mood, tags on the freeway that make me smile.
I almost moved to SF a few years ago and visited like five times that year to scope it out, get a feel for the neighborhoods. Trip five I said, nope not happening. I see myself where my people are. I think it would take a lot (like a lot) for me to be somewhere new and begin again on my own.You’ve held so many wonderful roles at different places that have shaped you, can you tell us a bit about what you do now for work and life?
Right now, I get to work with you at By Way of Us— the clown who also helps with strategy and picking what we eat for lunch. When I’m not at the BWOU office, I work remote as a content designer at a small, startup tech company. Which means I get to write and design the hierarchy of words that you might see in an app or a website.
Every place I’ve worked at has been because a woman I know has said my name in a room or introduced me to someone I didn’t know. That’s how I got to be at Snapchat, Lyft, Doordash, and where I am right now. All my roles have been writing focused, and I’m so thankful for it. I’m also thankful for all those past versions of me, who built those relationships. Can you tell me about gathering and organizing for you. What makes something worth treasuring or collecting or holding on to?
I’m a hoarder in a real way. You name it: toys, clothes, photos, memories. Whatever moves me—I want to remember it and keep it nearby forever. I don’t know where this comes from, this urge to hold on so tight. Some things I treasure or collect because I’ve always been intrigued by them, others because of what they represent for me or who they remind me of. Everything is a reminder of who I am, used to be, and wanna be.
“Sarcastically but also seriously, I love an unfinished project. Isn’t that what our whole life is? Exploring, a constant work in progress, an evolution.”
— Marguerite Castañeda
I do want to ask you about onhercourt and adentro, I love both platforms so much and I want to know what makes it okay to try new things, pause, and pick them back up when you want. Or godforbid, have things that you do for fun?
LOL. “Platforms” is very kind of you to say. To me, onhercourt was just a way to have fun on the internet. Adentro was and continues to be much more personal, which is probably why I don’t create for that account as much anymore. It’s intimidating for me to say the “right” thing or even something meaningful.
The vision was to encourage people to search within, to be brave and open about mental health during a time where I felt like it wasn’t as “cool” to do so. Thankfully, it feels like there are so many more accounts and people doing this now. It’s much more of the norm to talk about your wellbeing. I sometimes feel like other people are saying more educated and more helpful things than I am when it comes to that world. I might pick it up again, maybe I won't. I think I hate being seen on the internet too much to commit to being consistent with it.
Sarcastically but also seriously, I love an unfinished project. Isn’t that what our whole life is? Exploring, a constant work in progress, an evolution. (I used to hate this idea and am trying really hard to remember that everything can change at any moment and that's actually cool and not scary!“Every place I’ve worked at has been because a woman I know has said my name in a room or to someone I didn’t know.”
— Marguerite Castañeda
You’re someone I find very inspiring, I think because I’ve been able to do life with you for a while. I see your consistency over time. What was your initial reaction, state of mind, when you starting working with on this toy drive with this specific shelter? What was the impetus to give and why this one?
Honestly, I started in the pandemic because I was feeling a type of way about where I was in life in comparison to where others were. I didn’t lose my job and was still able to pay my rent— meanwhile so many people were barely scraping by and the statistics for domestic violence cases went up. I was feeling like I needed to do something. I shared how I was feeling with my best friend, Jackie, and she became my sounding board, my project manager, and my cheerleader for this. She’s the only reason why the donations actually ever happened, because of her encouragement. Jackie is a doer with a capital D, and is calm, cool, collected when it comes to execution. Everything I’m not. We’ve been doing the drive together ever since.
We chose Angel Step Inn to work with because it is local and smaller than the shelters that we had heard about before. I reached out to their team and asked if they took donations and what they would need and boom, my people came through. How did year two feel? three? four? And how are you feeling about five?
I really can’t believe this year is the 5th year we’re doing this! Every year, we’ve improved on the logistics and learned about how we can make it easier for folks to chip in. I feel more organized but I also feel the same nervousness I do every year. After year one, we felt like we had to keep doing it, like it couldn’t be a one time thing. People from the beginning still donate and people ask me “Are you going to do the drive for the shelter again this year?” This idea that I felt like I kinda wanted to do but was scared of if I could actually deliver it, is now a real thing that is a part of our end of year tradition.“Any type of service or giving situation will be so thankful for whatever you can give, no matter what.”
— Marguerite Castañeda
I find it so inspiring because when people talk about “helping” or enacting change, I think often times it can feel like I don’t even know where to start, or I’m going to mess up, or maybe I won’t be able to continue for a long time, so would it be more hurtful to even begin? But you’ve grown steadily, and it’s something that your community and your circle of friends knows is coming. How did you combat some of those questions or blocks or stoppers to get to five years of helping?
I totally understand being intimidated by the (or any) commitment and not knowing if what you can actually give or do, realistically, is enough. Any type of service or giving situation will be so thankful for whatever you can give, no matter what.
While I was laid off last year, the shelter reached out to me to ask for some help for Mother's Day. I had to let them know that my situation had changed. They understood and wished me well and I made sure that as soon as I was able to help again, I reached out. I think that being honest about what I can actually do has helped relieve myself of pressure. Pausing isn’t the same as stopping. Adjusting isn’t stopping. Plus, Jackie really is the one to encourage and support me through all my doubts. 
How do you feel pre, during, and after this season?
Anxious. Nervous. Overwhelmed. It’s a lot of logistics, a lot of reaching out and keeping tabs on people and trusting that they will follow through on what they signed up to donate. I worry that it’s not enough or that I actually can’t handle all of it. I only feel relief after we’ve handed off the gifts and donations to our contacts at the shelter. Don’t talk to me about the gifts for my family or your holiday party until afterward.Any favorite stories or families you’ve been able to connect with or aide with playing Santa and making gift giving fun, specific, and special?
For the privacy of the families, we haven’t been able to connect with anyone that are currently living in or were living in the shelter. But every year, we get thank you cards from the moms (sometimes dads) and the kids and that is the best moment of this entire thing.
The cards from the parents are especially moving. We make sure to give them unwrapped gifts, wrapping paper, scissors, bags, and anything they might need so they can wrap their own gifts for their children. We didn’t want them to feel like they weren’t a part of this holiday season just because of their current situation. And the shelter always lets us know of their gratitude and where the money goes. One year they rented a Santa thanks to our donations to give out stuffed animals to the kids. 
What would be most helpful for people who want to start something and feel anxious? Or is there any encouragement you’d give someone who had a nudge or pull at this thing they want to start or do?
For me, what’s been the most effective to actually do it is sharing with my most supportive friend. Maybe that's someone you know or maybe it's actually you in your mirror. Make them your accountability partner. I have to share all my worries before I can be convinced that I can do it and that I’m capable.
I think it’s also important for people to remember that whatever it is they want to start, no matter the size, is important. Start small if you have to. When it comes to helping and service, every small thing matters. Our new tagline is “events for people who want to try.” Our question for you is: is it okay to try? For you, in your professional path, in life, what has made it okay to try?
The smart part of my brain says, yes of course you gotta try. But it still takes a while for me to connect with that side of myself. I have to consult my best friends, I have to write about it in my journal, I have to trick myself into believing it’s not a big deal.
I like things that are “for sure” and I’m not historically a risk taker. But I’ve been practicing becoming someone who tries. I’m working on valuing the experience itself and not just the outcome. Everytime I get insecure and worried about trying, I have to remind myself that I’ve survived everything that’s led me here and that I really only have to take things one day at a time. 